Mental Health & You Column - August 2020

Mental Health & You Column | Agust 2020

In this Conversation Column, we look at how empathy, the ability to understand the feelings of others, is the foundation of mental health. It might also be said to be the pillar that supports and sustains human relationships, the family and civil society.

One way empathy manifests is in morality, including what we call in the West, the Golden Rule, which takes many forms in many different cultures.
But it boils down to roughly, "Treat other people the way you would like to be treated." So we think we could justly say that, as empathy can be said to affect every aspect of our human experience, it rightly deserves to be the focus of our column this month.
Empathy can also be said to be the ability to recognize, understand, and share the thoughts and feelings of another person, animal, or fictional character.

Developing empathy is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately. It involves experiencing another person’s point of view, rather than just one’s own, and enables 'helping behaviors' that come from within, rather than being imposed upon us by someone else.

With the pandemic and other recent events we have all been forced to adjust to what has been called the new normal, a perspective that could be said to be more isolated, egocentric and 'tribal,' rather than altruistic and other-centered.  Some surveys indicate that empathy is on the decline in the United States and elsewhere. This is a source of concern.

We believe that such a critical component of good mental health and a healthy society should draw our thoughtful attentions.

We hope that our experts in this column bring you insights and good advice.
Let us know - post your comment or share your insight on our Hope Blog

Stay Safe and Healthy,
Diana and Jan

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Empathy During COVID-19

Empathy is a term we use for the ability to understand other people's feelings as if we were having them ourselves. ... Sympathy refers to the ability to take part in someone else's feelings, mostly by feeling sorrowful about their misfortune.

by Susan Milligan, CHAM, CRCR, Patient Experience Director, Ensemble Health Partners
Fear, frustration, panic, anger, confusion … we have all been dealing with these emotions (and many others) during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Read more about what our health professions are experiencing during COVID

​Acting with Empathy During COVID-19
Before sharing insight on acting with empathy for patients, co-workers and yourself, I want to make one thing clear:
I am amazed at the courage of our teams. If courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to act despite the fear, then how could I use any other term to describe our teams?
All over the country, our associates have faced these circumstances with poise and professionalism, and I will always remember that we acted courageously and were leaders in selfless acts, despite the fear and anxiety we are experiencing ourselves.

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Featured Doctor

Brené Brown on Empathy vs. Sympathy
Empathy never starts with the words, "At least..."

Casandra Brené Brown PhD, LMSW is an American professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host. Brown holds the Brené Brown Endowed Chair at the University of Houston's Graduate College of Social Work and is a visiting professor in management at McCombs School of Business at the University of Texas at Austin.

Our brains are wired to run from pain—including emotional pain—whether it is ours or someone else's. Brown points out in this video that empathy rarely starts with the words, "At least..." and that oftentimes, the best response is, "I don't know what to say, but I am really glad you told me."

Psychology Today Article

Psychology Today

When your loved one shares a painful experience, do you try to lighten the moment?

When your loved one says they are upset with you, have you found yourself justifying your words or actions, only to have your partner become more upset?

Despite your best intentions, you may be suffering from a lack of empathy.

The following cartoon short from University of Houston researcher and Daring Greatly (2012) author Brené Brown's RSA talk in 2013 explains the difference:

More About Brene Brown

Brown explains that empathy is a skill that strengthens with practice and encourages people to both give and receive it often. By receiving empathy, not only do we understand how good it feels to be heard and accepted, we also come to better understand the strength and courage it takes to be vulnerable and share that need for empathy in the first place.

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4 Defining Attributes of Empathy

Brown references nursing scholar Theresa Wiseman's four attributes of empathy:

#1. Perspective Taking
To be able to see the world as others see it—this requires putting our stuff aside to see the situation through the eyes of a loved one.

#2. Stay out of Judgment
To be nonjudgmental—judgement of another person's situation discounts the experience and is an attempt to protect ourselves from the pain of the situation.

#3. Recognize Emotion
To understand another person’s feelings—we need to be in touch with our personal feelings in order to understand someone else's. This also requires putting aside "us" to focus on our loved one.

Habits for Wellbeing Theresa Wiseman

Theresa Wiseman RGN BSc(Hons)(Psy) RCNT RNT PGDE. Nurse Tutor, Bloomsbury and Islington College of Nursing and Midwifery, London, England.

#4. Communicate Emotion
To communicate our understanding of that person’s feelings—rather than saying, “At least...” or “It could be worse...” try, “I've been there, and that really hurts,” or (to quote an example from Brown) “It sounds like you are in a hard place now. Tell me more about it.”

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Video Corner

What's the Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy?
Tori Olds, a therapist at Deep Eddy Psychotherapy in Austin, TX, talks about really showing up for someone to bridge an emotional gap for them and how this integration is actually what we aim to create within ourselves.
"I typically guide clients in slowing down and “being with” themselves more fully and without shame."

Tori Olds, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist
Individual Psychologist

"I try to template this level of attentiveness through my own emotional engagement and respect for my clients and their experience.

In this way, clients and I can collaborate in an atmosphere of openness and safety to address whatever is on their hearts or minds."

Learn More About Dr. Olds

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Your Empathy Toolkit #1

Definition
Empathy is the ability to identify and understand another person’s situations and feelings.
Sympathy refers to the feelings of sorrow and pity for someone else’s misfortune.

Understanding
Empathy implies that one can understand another person’s situation.
Sympathy does not imply that one can understand another person’s situation.

Experience
Empathy implies that one has a similar experience in the past.
Sympathy implies that one cannot understand the situation due to lack of experience.

Feelings
Empathy evokes feelings such as understanding, acceptance, and concern.
Sympathy evokes feelings such as pity, sorrow, and compassion.

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Your Empathy Toolkit #2

​5 Actionable
Tips to Develop
Empathy and Become a More Empathetic Person

Click Here

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Directory and Reviews for Online Therapy

Online Counseling Directory
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The Online Counseling Directory is an international directory that provides a platform that connects people with therapists all over the world. The Online Counseling Directory also provides resources and guidance to therapists that wish to take their practice online with podcasts and documents that help you get started.
Visit Site

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Please stay safe and healthy!
Diana and Jan

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